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Devious Journal Entry
1 min read
High school is officially over. If I didn't live in this stupid province I'd be legal drinking age. People keep giving me money. All in all life is pretty good, but one thing is keeping me from happiness at this moment:
My dad is making liver for dinner. Because he is evil.
He knows I don't like it. He's perfectly capable of making something delicious. But he doesn't seem to believe that doctor-prescribed iron supplements are enough to raise me out of my almost-anemic state.
Why do people eat liver, anyway? It's the organ that filters POISON out of your blood. And as if that's not enough of a turn-off, you actually have to soak it in stuff before you can eat it to get rid of the smell. Rule of thumb: if something smells too bad to eat, don't eat it. Please.
My dad is making liver for dinner. Because he is evil.
He knows I don't like it. He's perfectly capable of making something delicious. But he doesn't seem to believe that doctor-prescribed iron supplements are enough to raise me out of my almost-anemic state.
Why do people eat liver, anyway? It's the organ that filters POISON out of your blood. And as if that's not enough of a turn-off, you actually have to soak it in stuff before you can eat it to get rid of the smell. Rule of thumb: if something smells too bad to eat, don't eat it. Please.
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THERE'S WINTERY MAGICALNESS
1 min read
'Twas the night before November 20th, and all through the house
People were coughing their lungs up because we all have colds.
Yet outside, all was calm and serene
(If you don't count sirens and car horns)
As it was snowing! Yes, my children, snowing!
The cold unifier,
The tundric robe.
The mask that covers all imperfections,
Gum on the sidewalk,
Roadkill,
Homeless people.
All get finely coated with snow.
Dusted baker's sugar.
Frozen crystals.
Down feathers and glass powder at the same time.
But, really, just cold and kinda miserable when you actually go outside.
It's cold.
This stupid country is too damn cold.
People were coughing their lungs up because we all have colds.
Yet outside, all was calm and serene
(If you don't count sirens and car horns)
As it was snowing! Yes, my children, snowing!
The cold unifier,
The tundric robe.
The mask that covers all imperfections,
Gum on the sidewalk,
Roadkill,
Homeless people.
All get finely coated with snow.
Dusted baker's sugar.
Frozen crystals.
Down feathers and glass powder at the same time.
But, really, just cold and kinda miserable when you actually go outside.
It's cold.
This stupid country is too damn cold.
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The Me Filter
2 min read
People suck.
And by people, I generally mean me. I just spent about two hours making four different tip jars, and once I found out it was an effort in vain, I cried.
I cried over a Gatorade bottle, a paper die, an origami box, and an old tupperware container.
But, being the narcissistic, projecting teenager that I am, I blame it on everyone except me. You see, teenagers have a "Me FIlter." Any thought entering a teenager's brain has to pass through this Me Filter. "My cousin's sick. How will this affect me?" "Our math teacher's retiring. What does this mean for me?" "A coyote ate my neighbor's dog. Does this matter to me?"
Most teenagers will deny having this Me Filter, but that's just because they've known nothing else. I have the Me Filter. I can't wait to grow out of all my stupid little adolescent obsessions and habits. I wish I was an oblivious teenager (like about 85% of the teenage population in developed countries) so that my biggest worries were counting calories and finding a date for the weekend.
I have serious issues with teenagers. Not all of them, but there are quite a few really rotten ones out there that make the rest of us look bad. Saying "Fuck" every other word, getting obscene tattoos and smoking in front of the school. I find it extremely disappointing that my school actually has a DESIGNATED SMOKING AREA for students. I go to high school. None of these people are old enough to smoke. The school doesn't even discourage smoking or drinking or drugs. And a lot of the students appreciate that, I'm sure, and they won't even realize they screwed up when they're working the graveyard shift at a Petro Can twenty years from now.
People suck.
And by people, I generally mean me. I just spent about two hours making four different tip jars, and once I found out it was an effort in vain, I cried.
I cried over a Gatorade bottle, a paper die, an origami box, and an old tupperware container.
But, being the narcissistic, projecting teenager that I am, I blame it on everyone except me. You see, teenagers have a "Me FIlter." Any thought entering a teenager's brain has to pass through this Me Filter. "My cousin's sick. How will this affect me?" "Our math teacher's retiring. What does this mean for me?" "A coyote ate my neighbor's dog. Does this matter to me?"
Most teenagers will deny having this Me Filter, but that's just because they've known nothing else. I have the Me Filter. I can't wait to grow out of all my stupid little adolescent obsessions and habits. I wish I was an oblivious teenager (like about 85% of the teenage population in developed countries) so that my biggest worries were counting calories and finding a date for the weekend.
I have serious issues with teenagers. Not all of them, but there are quite a few really rotten ones out there that make the rest of us look bad. Saying "Fuck" every other word, getting obscene tattoos and smoking in front of the school. I find it extremely disappointing that my school actually has a DESIGNATED SMOKING AREA for students. I go to high school. None of these people are old enough to smoke. The school doesn't even discourage smoking or drinking or drugs. And a lot of the students appreciate that, I'm sure, and they won't even realize they screwed up when they're working the graveyard shift at a Petro Can twenty years from now.
People suck.
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